I Wasn't First
by RealisticFantasies
Summary: "Do you know what hurts most Katniss? I gave my virginity up to a stranger" He whispers. Peeta will give up anything to protect Katniss; food, shelter, money. But what Snow wants...Is his body. Catching Fire, a few months before Victory Tour, Bumped up to M, Try it! :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! Sorry for not updating Musical Hearts in a l-o-n-g time! I'm currently writing Chapter 4. Yeah I know, I'm super lazy. But I feel like I don't really know where to go with Musical Hearts. I mean I know where I want it to go, but I just can't write it. Also I have absolutely no time. But now its the holidays I'll try to put something up.**

**Anyway I read a fanfiction where Peeta is forced into prositution and I had a _seriously_ vivid dream. All through the last few days of school, its been _constantly _bugging me and I just _had _to write it. So here!**

* * *

**Chapter One**

Peeta isn't home yet. We agreed that he would teach me to bake at 5, its 5:45 now. Where is he? I decide to give him 10 more minutes. I absent-mindedly circle my fingers on the table in front of me. Probably Mahogany, Effie would like that. I hear quiet shuffling and look up, there my sister stands, young as ever in a cream top and knit brown skirt.

"Katniss" she says "He'll come, he loves you too much to blow you off"

I only nod doubtedly, ignoring the guilt tightening in my chest. Five more minutes pass, Ten. He's still not here. I walk over to the window and peer through the glass at his house several yards away from my own. The lights are off and his house looks cold. Curiosity gets the better of me so I put on my boots, go out the door and walk over to his house. We established that we didnt need to knock on each others doors any more so I just let myself in. Peeta's house, usually light and full of life, is cold and empty. I call out into the darkness, creeping through the rooms. Silently looking in all his rooms I quickly conclude that he is not in his house.

Feeling suspicious I even resort to Haymitch's house. Slipping through the door, I walk onto the gravel path once more over to Haymitch's house 2 doors down from Peeta's. Waste and general rubbish from scraps of paper, broken glass shards, discarded clothes, week old vomit all scatter across his front porch. Nearly at a 5 yard distance I already bring the top of my shirt above my nose to stop me from gagging. But even with minimal protection, the stench of an abondoned house still reaches my nose. If I wasn't completely devoted to finding out where Peeta is I would have turned around and stomped back home without a second thought. I wrench open the door and hold my breath.

Even if I had been at Haymitch's house several times now the sight still overwhelms me. Torn furniture, toppled tables and chairs, dim lighting, scratches on the walls. It all screams revolting. But there's one thing out-of-place. Haymitch. Usually he would be sprawled over his kitchen table, bottle clutched in one hand, a waiting knife at the other. But this time, this time he is sitting on a torn couch across from the wide television currently on a Capitol news show. Haymitch frowns with disgust, a half full bottle of liquor in one hand. Habits never change, I think dryly.

"Haymitch" I call, he only turns his head to look at me, his own seam eyes reflecting back at me before returning his attention to the television once again.

"Haymitch" I try again "Have you seen Peeta? He isn't at his house"

"Probably at the Capitol" he mumbles

"What!?" I screech jumping up "Why? How do you know?"

"Calm down sweetheart" He pats the spot next to him. I hesitantly sit next to him as he points towards the tv. There stands a woman with metallic blue hair, piercing purple eyes, intricate patterns as her eyelashes, deep blue lips and a matching pastel blue dress.

"Stay tuned! Next we have a very _special _appearance from the 74th Hunger Games Co-Victor Peeta Mellark!" She announces clapping her hands in giddiness.

"Saw him with a suitcase in the morning, on his way to the train station" Haymitch says

"Why is he there Haymitch?" I plead

"Don't know, but we'll find out soon alright?" He soothes. I nod, fighting back tears. I don't know why, but the thought of Peeta in the Capitol, alone, is enough for me to break down. When we got back from the games, we hardly spoke and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I missed him. His friendly, constantly happy nature. His radiating smile. Thats what motivated me to apologize and now 2 weeks later he's gone. Again.

The tv comes back to life and I am met with the snake-like eyes of President Snow. He's standing on a stage, dressed in a plain black suit, his signature white rose pinned to his lapel.

"Welcome! Panem, I hope you are watching this now because one of you may get an extraordinary chance" He smiles as the crowd roars, screaming and flailing their arms and arms wildly.

"Yes, yes" He continues "How many of you here know Peeta Mellark!" Peeta's picture appears behind him. He looks amazing as always in a simple blue button down shirt. The crowd erupts in cheers, applaud, screams and crying. Men and women alike squeal and blow kisses to his picture behind President Snow. Snow stands there grinning piosinously viciously.

"Well how about I tell you, one of you lucky people could spend the night with the one and only Mr. Mellark?" He bellows. This just causes to crowd to erupt into more applaud and defeaning screaming. But only one thing registers in my mind.

Peeta will be with someone from the Capitol for the night. Alone.

"Now after the break the bidding will start. Remember this is for women _and _men, the highest bidder shall receive Mr. Mellark and this is the most important. You may do _whatever _you wish with Mr. Mellark and he will stay with you until 6 in the morning, then he will leave after being escorted out" Snow adds. The crowd cheers once more. Snow winks once more, then the screen fades to black abruptly changing into Capitol commercials.

My body goes numb. _Peeta. _Why? _Peeta. _Is this what he wants? _Peeta._ Is he finally done with me? I vaguely hear Haymitch calling my name but I ignore it. My eyes are trained on the television, desperately wanting to find out more, desperately waiting for answers.

After what seems like a lifetime has ticked away the screen bursts back into the stage where Snow is casually perched.

"Welcome back citizens!" He greets "Lets start! Mr. Mellark if you please" Snow extends his arm towards the edge of the stage.

Thats when I see him. _Peeta_.

He walks casually onto the stage, dressed in a royal blue dress shirt, that's really accentuates his eyes, a white tie, and white dress pants. His smile is radiating as always, waving kindly to the crowd. The crowd is in riot, I can even see girls tripping over themselves to get on stage and reach him. Just incredible, he's got them captured, it's not hard for him. He's just naturally...Peeta. Who can draw you in with his breathtaking smile, mesmerizing eyes and friendly out-going nature.

"Settle!" Snow booms which automatically silences the crowd.

"Let the bidding begin! Start off with 50 thousand dollars!" Every card is still held up high

"70 thousand dollars!" Still every card

"Hmm, I see then. 1 million dollars!" A few drop. _2 million, 5 million, 10, 50, 100, 1 **billion, **2 billion._

By now there are only a handful of cards up. Still 2 billion that's amazing. The money people will pay, is simply overwhelming.

Eventually it dwindles down to two scary looking women. One has sickly green skin, which makes her look constantly sick. She has striped black and white hair that falls like a pristine sheet. She's tall and slim, dressed in a black and green skin-tight jumpsuit adorned with white swirling patterns, piercing green eyes and pea green lips.

The other can only be described as... bright. She wears a bright red dress patterned with rainbow spots and six-inch spiked red heels. Bright yellow eyes, blinding blue hair that is bunched up in curls on top of her head. Her most frightening feature are her lips. They're bright red and matching her dress, tiny rainbow micro sized beads scattered across her lips. The worse things about them; they're real beads _and _they're slightly spiked at the end. Her smile is so blinding, almost devious, she has plans. For Peeta. Oh my God.

Eventually the rainbow woman bids highest at 3,274,500,000 dollars. _Wow. _

She bounds happily onto the stage, sprinting to where Peeta stands with determined eyes. You can practically feel her giddiness radiating off her. When she finally reaches Peeta her long manicured nails wrap around his bicep, smiling blindingly at him.

"My, my what's your name?" Snow asks

"Mussidia Valeria, Sir, and may I say this will _definitely _be the best night of my life!"

"Well, I bet it is!" Snow sneers "Panem, Mussidia Valeria and Peeta Mellark!"

The camera zooms in to capture Peeta and Mussidia's faces. Mussidia looks positively thrilled. But Peeta.

His smile shows happiness, but that's nothing in comparison to his eyes. From his eyes you can tell every emotion he holds.

And right now. It shows fear, regret, sadness.

It shows hurt.

It says that he doesn't want this. That he'd rather be left alone.

That's what breaks me.

I want to scream. To shout. To burn down the Capitol. Kill President Snow. Kill Mussidia Valeria.

_Anything _to take away the pain so clear in his eyes.

But I can't everything I want to say, curse. It's all stuck in my throat.

As, Peeta and Mussidia walk back stage I see Mussidia faintly grope his ass.

The impenetrable pain in my chest aches even more.

Because he's stuck with her. Because he's forced to do this.

Because I can't do anything about it.

* * *

**And it ends! I will keep going with this, because I like how it makes Katniss actually _feel _something. (I know shocker!) ****Because honestly, as much as I love her, she is so freaking oblivious and stupid. But in the end she did choose Peeta so yeah.**

**And yeah, its _super_ cheesy to write scream and shout. But oh well! I'm a cheesy old style romantic girl who wants a fairytale love story and a hot prince. But can you blame me?**

**Okay enough of my ranting;**

**Fair well and Sayonara**

**~RealisticFantasies**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I worked on this Chapter for 2 days because my days have been busy to say the least. I didn't have my book with me to make everything accurate so Im sorry!**

**Anyone interested in Beta'ing for me? My grammar and spelling sucks as you can tell after you read this Chapter.**

**Note: Katniss is really OOC here**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Hunger Games! If I did you would be creeped out because I have _strange _thoughts.**

**...Read On!**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Haymitch doesn't even have time to blink before I'm bolting out of Haymitch's house. Tears blur my vision but I keep running. I don't even know where I'm going, nevertheless I let my feet carry me to where-ever they want. My mind is focused on only one thing.

Peeta.

The look in his eyes is enough to break me completely. They looked like that when I told him that I was only acting in the games.

But this time, this time, it was like that but intensified by ten million times.

My chest tightens by just the thought of it, guilt threatening to take over because I know, I'm probably the one that caused this.

My tears are slowing down, and I can see where I am. I'm in the woods, specifically the lake where my father taught me to swim when I was 7. My feet brought me to the right place because I really need the comfort of him now.

There's a small cabin-like house by the lake. Me and my father used to hang around in there after we swam. I walk inside and am instantly hit by memories of my father. His warm smile, the crinkles by his eyes, his deep laugh. I walk around the house my fingers running across everything appreciatively, savouring everything, its feel, touch even its smell. I come across the small double bed in one of the rooms and immediately fling myself on it. I bury my face into the worn out sheets, tears spill as I recognise his scent; coal, woods and peppermint.

I run out of the house, wiping my cheeks dry from tear stains violently. I collapse at the lake edge, dropping my head into my hands. I pull up my knees and hug then to my chest, burying my face into my knees. I feel a breeze shiver through me causing me to look up in confusion. I look up and a refreshing breath of air flies across my face. I stretch my face wanting to relish this feeling. In return the sun beams upon my face, its warm rays dancing across my face. My heart swells in joy, it's almost like my father is caressing my face, reassuring me in his soothing, gentle voice.

Feeling stronger, I pick myself up and walk back to the fence. I walk silently, still watching out for stray animals but I have a sense of calm over me since my trip. Crouching down, I try to listen if the fence is electrified. I hear no hum so I go ahead and slip under the fence and into town.

I walk through town, occasionally nodding or waving to people shouting their thanks for winning the games. But in my opinion no-one really wins the games. No one but Snow and The Capitol.

When I reach the Victors Village, I instinctly walk over to my house. When I open the door Prim assaults me.

"Hey Katniss! How was baking with Peeta?" She asks a grin so wide it would put the Cheshire Cat to shame.

At first I smile softly, happy to see Prim so happy. I can never deny her anything. But the I realise what she said. As the realisation dawns on me and I'm filled with horror as I hear his name again, Prim's smile falters and she looks at me worriedly.

"I - I " I stutter "I'm sorry I-I have to go"

I run out of the house tears spilling yet again, my calm, serene feeling has shattered.

I slam Peeta's door open and bound up the stairs. I make my way to Peeta's room and like I did with my father's bed, I fling myself onto it. I grab one of his pillows and take a huge whiff of it.

It smells like him; cinnamon, dill and sugar frosting. This brings tears to my eyes. Hugging the pillow to my chest, I screw my eyes shut and pretend its Peeta's warm stocky body. This calms me down for a split second and I nuzzle my face deeper into the pillow before my chest clenches in the worst way when I realise it isn't him.

I fall asleep like this, Peeta's scent constantly wafting in my nose.

* * *

_I wander the halls aimlessly, until I find an unmarked door. My curiosity takes over and I push open the door. The room is crystal white, everything shining so bright, it hurts your eyes to look at it. In the middle of the room is a deep red bed, red as blood. On the bed is Peeta and Mussidia._

_I watch in horror as Mussidia rides him, moaning out his name. Peeta's mouth is wide open in ecstasy, his eyes screwed shut._

_Unable to watch anymore I slam the door shut and run down the hall, strangled noises coming out from my throat and my vision blurring from tears. The thought of Peeta doing _that _feels like a thousand knives slashing me open. I come to a dead-end and halt to a stop. _

_The world suddenly spins and I'm in a lavish room. Everything is the epitome of perfect. Theres a large oak desk scattered with papers. I approach the desk and see that the papers are cut-out newspaper articles. I pick one up and it reads 'Star-Crossed Lovers Over!' I drop it and pick up the next one 'Panems Golden Boy Peeta Mellark has a new woman' . I go through the articles they go on and on 'Lucky girl, Mussidia Valeria bags Peeta Mellark' , 'Katniss Who? Mussidia Valeria is the new Mrs. Mellark' , Another one catches my eye 'The Two !' I pick it up and skim through it a particular line shattering myself completely _"I'm absolutely thrilled! Mussidia is delightful and makes my son happy, Katniss will never compare" Quotes Mrs Mellark.

_"Seeing what could have been?" _

_I spin around and see Snow in a coal-black suit, white rose still tucked in his lapel._

_"Miss Everdeen, aren't you just swell that has found such a delightful partner?"_

_"Why? He doesn't want this! You forced him!"_

_"Me? Miss Everdeen I would never! Mr. Mellark called me himself asking for a chance since _you_ didn't want him. He said he was tired of waiting for you to come home after screwing your cousin Gale in the woods"_

_"No!" I choke out "No_

_The world spins again and I'm at a massive room with people chattering about nonsense. I look around trying to find a way out when my eyes land on Peeta across the room. I push my way towards him. When I reach him I notice he has to women clinging to his arm._

_"Peeta!" I shout. He turns._

_"Katniss"_

_"Come on Peeta" I try_

_"No! What about us?" One of the women says_

_"Goodbye" Peeta says simply. I then watch as he walks away from me, laughing and joking with the women. I call out his name again and again. Yet he never comes back. I'm being pushed back by Capitol citizens bombarding me with insults. 'He doesn't want you' 'Leave him alone 'You crushed him' 'You dont deserve him' 'Go back from where you came, Seam slut' Seam slut, Seam slut._

_ I'm on my own, holes from the wall start leaking blood. It starts at my feet, reaching up to my knees, my legs. Until Im swimming in it. The last thing I see before I drown is a pair of familiar blue eyes._

_I'm nearly covered, I look back at those blue eyes and what I see in them hurts me even more than the blood; 'You deserve this..'_

* * *

I wake up terrified. Looking around I see that the sheets are scattered across the bed, some on the floor, some on the bed. A few were tangled in my legs. I groggily wipe my eyes from sleep. When I look out of Peeta's window the suns up, judging by the sun it's around 8 in the morning. Nevertheless I walk downstairs bringing Peeta's pillow with me. I clutch it tightly to my chest as if I'm a toddler and the pillow a stuffed teddy. I plop my self onto the couch and tuck my feet beneath me.

I'm about to get up when the door bursts open.

"Hello Paneeem!" Slurs a voice that I could recognise from a mile away.

"Peeta!" I squeal. I jump off the couch and run towards him, pulling him towards me and flinging myself around him. I bury my face into his shirt and savour his smell. Cinnamon, dill and liquor? I look up into his impossibly blue eyes, but instead of seeing the clear sapphires that show me his soul I see them clouded over. He's been drinking.

"Peeta? I am not! I am the Muffin Man!" He exclaims wriggling out of my grasp and posing like a super hero.

"Peeta, have you been drinking?" I question

"Me? Never! My friend Mussidia gave me something to drink before we you know, did stuff" He whispers the last part. His _friend _Mussidia? Did_ stuff_?

"Peeta, come on you need to rest" I tug on his arm

"No! The Muffin Man will not take orders from Question Lady!"

"Question Lady? Why Question Lady?"

"You ask many, many questions, Question Lady!"

"Ok-" I'm interrupted by Peeta

"Yuh know Question Lady, I think the Muffin Man needs someone to keep him company. What about Princess Katniss!?"

"Peeta I am Katniss" I deadpan

"Princess Katniss I found you!" He spins me around hugging me tight

"Princess, lets be monkeys!" I look at him in shock, drunk Peeta is...strange

"Peeta? A monkey? Really?"

"Geez Princess, just let me be a fucking monkey!" He huffs then sits on the floor crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. Wow Peeta must be wasted if he cusses. I join him, sitting down on the floor.

"Okay Peeta, we can be monkeys" I say slowly

"Priiincess! Why are you treating me like a five-year old" He whines "I'm only four!" He sticks up his hand with two fingers up

"Peeta, sweetie you've only got two fingers up" I lift another two fingers to make four fingers "There"

"Woah!" He lift his hands to his face and stares at them like they're the best thing in the world. "They're amazing! What can you do with them?"

"Well - um - A lot of things" I reply unsure

"They're boring then"

"Sure.." I drag out the word

"I'm hot" He announces.

Then without warning he takes his shirt off and tosses it to the ground. Peeta lies back down and puts his hands behind his head. I can't help but watch the way his muscles flex under his pale skin. I've seen him shirtless before, in the arena, but that was when he was covered in blood and mud. But this time, I notice how the Capitol got rid of all his scars, leaving him with a smooth chest. Firm and muscular. Hairless except for the thin, curly blonde trail leading to the V shape lower down, down to his..._No!_ _I should not be thinking about this!_

Peeta sits up and looks at me in the eye.

"You have really pretty eyes, they're like moons" He whispers. I blush and stare at my hands, I hated compliments.

"I - " I don't even get to finish my sentence when Peeta presses his lips on mine.

His lips are warm and soft. They fit in perfectly with mine as we lock and unlock lips. A warm feeling starts inside my chest and spreads through me, to my toes, my fingertips, in between my legs. It's like in the cave, the warm fuzzy feeling, that deep stirring. Last time, my head wound started bleeding and he made me lay down. This time, there's nothing stopping us. Peeta gently pushes me onto my back and hovers over me. One of my hands, which have previously running them through Peeta's thick curls, lowers and grips his shoulders, no doubt making marks. Peeta decides to be bold, opening his mouth and swiping his tongue across my lip, asking for permission. I slowly open my mouth and Peeta's tongue darts inside. I involuntarily let out a deep moan, this spurs Peeta on and he slides his hands up to my breast. He kneads my breasts, massaging, tugging. He makes me feel exhilarated and carefree. I moan once more, longer. I decide to be bold aswell and run my fingers down his torso, down his rock solid abs and pecks. Peeta lets out a deep moan and I can't help but think it sounds undeniably sexy. "Katniss" He moans. Peeta lowers himself onto me, I feel a hardness against my thigh. "Mmm Yes" He sighs. I feel myself panic but then he starts to caress my face and I instantly relax.

My hands were about to wander further down when a voice rings in my ears

"Enjoying yourself there, sweetheart?" _Haymitch, _I think irritatedly.

Peeta rolls off me and sees Haymitch, freezing him.

"Haymitch!" He yells and locks him in an awkward hug where Haymitch's head is stuck inside Peeta's bare arms.

"Okay kid, yeah, let go" Haymitch grumbles

"Are - you breaking up with me?" Peeta says. I snort at his exaggerated tone.

"I'm a very good kisser Haymitch, ask Princess Katniss!" He exclaims

"Uh - I - Yeah?"

"Hmm, I could see that, by the way you were sucking each others faces off for 10 minutes" Haymitch smirks

"Haymitch!" I scold

"Hey! I just come in and see you two groping, making out, honestly I bet if I didn't speak up you two would be on your way to sex" He retorts "Literally, Mr. Good Kisser was fondling your boobs and you, sweetheart, were on your road to Mr. Good Kisser's dick"

I just stare at him in shock and come to the conclusion that Haymitch is pure vulgar.

"Anyway, what's up with lover boy?"

"I don't know, he said something about 'His friend Mussidia gave him something to drink' that's it though"

"Hmm. Mr. Good Kisser? Over here!" he calls over to Peeta who was rolling around on the floor

"Mr. Good Kisser? This means... Oh Haymitch, I knew we were meant for each other!" Peeta hugs Haymitch tightly

"Shut up boy! What did Mussidia give you?"

"A drink"

"Dammit boy, describe it!"

I watch in amusement as Haymitch starts getting frustrated with him

"Okay, but only for you Mitchy"

"Mitchy!?" Haymitch repeats in disgust

"It was blue at the bottom then green at the top. It smelled like potatoes!" Peeta exclaims with wide eyes

"Sounds like Onyxdrone. But the potato bit? I have no idea, boys gone mad"

"What's Onyxdrone?" I ask

"It's really strong alchohol, makes you loopy and uh" He replies uncertaintly

"What?" I ask

"Boy, get out of here" Haymitch barks

"Okay, my one and only!" Peeta sings then exits to the kitchen

"Damn boy" Haymitch mutters

"Aww I think it's cute, _Mitchy_" I tease

"Mitchy is my nickname! Copyright!" I hear Peeta holler from the Kitchen

"So what did you want to say?" I question

"Katniss, this drink. It um, make's mens dicks automatically hard and women automatically wet" He explains. I bring my hand up to my mouth in horror, eyes widening in loathing.

"Mussidia.." I whisper

"Yeah, she probably gave it to him before, you know" I do know. Before she made him do t_hat_ with her

"Well see you later sweetheart, take care of the kid. He should be sporting a really bad hangover in the morning" He offers a sympathetic smile

I wave goodbye and he walks out. The thought of _her_ giving Peeta_ that, _is despicable. I wander into the kitchen to see Peeta looking at himself in a spoon

"Princess! This person looks like me! But upside down!" He shouts pointing to the spoon

"Okay, come on" I take his hand and lead him to the couch. He sits down and snuggles into a pillow.

"I'll get you a hot chocolate, okay?"

"M'kay" He replies in a sleepy voice

I walk into the kitchen and start taking out a mug, cocoa and milk. As I prepare his milk, my mind thinks about the strange version of Peeta in the other room. His strange words. Muffin Man? Mr. Good Kisser? Monkey? Then my mind thinks of the intense make out session. The thought of it makes my cheeks to blush and my body to start tingling. How far would we have gone if Haymitch hadn't interrupted us. All I know is, he made me forget everything, made me feel more than a broken victor.

I walk back to the living room to give him his hot chocolate but see him passed out, face front, in-front of the fire snoring slightly. I smile slightly and sit next to him, drinking the hot chocolate. The fire warms me and I crawl closer to it. I look back at Peeta, the fire lighting up his pale face. He looks so peaceful, younger, without a care in the world.

I finish my hot chocolate and set it on the table. I lie next to Peeta and his arms snake around me. My heart swells, knowing he does this instinctively. It's still early in the morning and I just slept but I stay with Peeta anyway.

I turn and lay my head on his chest, listening to the comforting sounds of his heartbeat.

I feel warm in his arms,

I feel safe in his arms,

I feel like I'm at home right inside his arms.

* * *

**And it ends! NOT PERMANENTLY! JUST THE CHAPTER!**

** Anyway I wanna ask should I write smut scenes? Is the make-out session too steamy? Should I change the rating to M?**

** I had so much fun writing the banter between K,P & H. So the beach scene came a bit early :P**

**Sorry for any mistakes! ****See you soon!**

**Fair well and Sayonora**

**~RealisticFantasies**


End file.
